The Snitz = Love Doctor

[FREESTYLEMX17]

Hey guys if ur ever fealin bad in u "love life" / gettin the chicks feal like a little bit of a helpin hand u should ask ... The Snitz
As i have done and been reward. it dont happen over night but it does happen.. so just chuck ur questions down here and Steve will help u out

[Brewer]

oi dude we already know how , you have got steves approval and stuff , so ou dont have to keep going around saying how you love him.
Dont get me wrong hes the biggest champ.

[redbull_fmx]

Um im a little bit embarressed to ask this but..........I cant get it up

[mezza_fmx]

hahah red bull!

[FREESTYLEMX17]

no dude im sayin that he helped me figure out some chicks im not sayin i love him :S kinda weird

[HILLIER]

yeh dawg.. chicks are weird.. steves been there a few times an prolly been throug ha bit seein as hes quite an old fela now....

chicks are the most complicated thigns in life... sometiems i wish i wasnt invovled with "love" much... haha lars will know what i mean...

PEACE

[Brewer]

Originally posted by FREESTYLEMX17
no dude im sayin that he helped me figure out some chicks im not sayin i love him :S kinda weird

lol thats good to hear.

But now that i think of it .
My mate has a problem mmmm hes got genital herpies and i wana help him out but i dunno what to do.
His name is luke pretty , hes a top bloke and that but yeah hes got this problem what should i do or he do?

Thanks in advance steve.

Mitch

[The Snitz]

Originally posted by redbull_fmx
Um im a little bit embarressed to ask this but..........I cant get it up

G'day mate, I would be embarrased if I were you, the reason is... You are looking at animals instead of women. The first step you need to take, is to move out of Biloela, where there is another half of the human species which is called a Female... That should help you out, my son ;)

so now I'm the Love Doctor? Wow, I'm really branching out into new fields... I'm doing up my resume as we speak... I should whack that in there ;)

[FREESTYLEMX17]

i agree Rhys some chicks r weird some r complicated half dont even know what they r doin.. c get steve to help he's old he knows what hes doin

[stavross]

the secret to women is to only try to root the ones you don’t care about...

as soon as you think a girl had a nice personality or some other completely silly hypothesis, its time to realise your wrong and go somewhere else

[The Snitz]

Originally posted by Brewer
My mate has a problem mmmm hes got genital herpies and i wana help him out but i dunno what to do.

Mitch

Mitch my man, I've never encountered such a serious problem such as this, but from all the text I have relating to this topic, is, you know how when you get bitten by a snake, you get your mate to suck the venom out?... You do the same for your mate LOL... Should you feel gay for doing it... Simply put a blind fold on both yourself and your mate... he can imagine you're a woman, and you can imagine you're eating out at sizzler... Oh god.. that's so wrong... HOW DID WE GET TO THIS PEOPLE!?

Thread moved to Jokes and Funnies as of now :drink:

[Brewer]

Ok but i know for a fact your only gay if you take it .
So im sweet im giving it right ?????
i was thinking of licking then off but suckign can work right lol ?

[redbull_fmx]

Originally posted by The Snitz
G'day mate, I would be embarrased if I were you, the reason is... You are looking at animals instead of women. The first step you need to take, is to move out of Biloela, where there is another half of the human species which is called a Female... That should help you out, my son ;)

so now I'm the Love Doctor? Wow, I'm really branching out into new fields... I'm doing up my resume as we speak... I should whack that in there ;)

Funny you say that moving out of biloela. Im moving my arse down to brisbane/Ipswich in a few weeks.

Ive tried looking at women but it dosnt help. Animals dont help me get an erection either.
Could this be bad.

Please help me Steve

[KWAKA_FMX]

Originally posted by stavross
the secret to women is to only try to root the ones you don’t care about...

as soon as you think a girl had a nice personality or some other completely silly hypothesis, its time to realise your wrong and go somewhere else

Good point callum, i'll remember that;)

[FREESTYLEMX17]

If you ask one good question in the next ten minutes u get a free set of steak knives

[Brewer]

Maybe try looking at this pic.
And even you see some boobies hehe

[Brewer]

I know it turns me on and i have no problems hahaha

[redbull_fmx]

My erection problems have been cured.

Thank you so much steve its really good to know we have some one as dedicated to you on this site. Not only do you help people with tricks you also help them with sexual problems.

I LOVE YOU BRO

[FREESTYLEMX17]

Man 3 cheers for mr love doctor hip hip hooray im bored i cant do nemore

[enslow]

yeh I have this person that I think I'm in love with...

this person, rides motorcycles, a YZF250 actually... think his last name is sommerfield or something like that...

I think this person really adores me also....

HAHAHAHAHAHA...

WTF, is this thread craping on about.....

ahhh steve you have so many ppl that love you....HAHAHA....LMFAO...

Cheers fellers>>>TOMMO

[Brewer]

Originally posted by enslow
yeh I have this person that I think I'm in love with...

this person, rides motorcycles, a YZF250 actually... think his last name is sommerfield or something like that...

I think this person really adores me also....
haha dont be modest dude lol

[FREESTYLEMX17]

steve is coolest if i could be him i would but i can so arrghh

[The Snitz]

Originally posted by enslow
yeh I have this person that I think I'm in love with...

this person, rides motorcycles, a YZF250 actually... think his last name is sommerfield or something like that...

I think this person really adores me also....



Who is this person? I know a guy who has last name of Sommerfeld, but this sommerfield guy I don't know... do you think their names get mixed up at all? lol
I heard he doesn't swing that way, but if you're offering pallets of beer he may reconsider?

How can I say "lets get back to topic"? there isn't much of a topic here lol Cause we all know, me being of Male persuasion... I, like all other guys, know absolutely squat about women.
A dishcloth and a Duster is about all I know about women

[Brewer]

lol i think this thread is getting to gay for my liking si i will come back in a few days i think.

L8r
Mitch

[enslow]

HAHAHAHAHA... you have so many little kids that love you steve....

kids maybe if you ask uncle steve reall really nicely, he might adopt you...

Now would that be cool ay, going to school and saying, "my daddy is steve sommerfield'....HAHAHAHAHA

Cheers fellers>>TOMMO

[redbull_fmx]

No One ask me for advice either because i havnt really been out with a chcik before lol sad i know but im not gay just female challeneged

[FREESTYLEMX17]

yer dude i feal ur pain..but i kinda got 1 atm go me YER finally.. and steve can u plz adopt me and teach me how to ride a motty i heard ur alright one one

[Brewer]

Originally posted by redbull_fmx
No One ask me for advice either because i havnt really been out with a chcik before lol sad i know but im not gay just female challeneged
ok my bad there is actually problems now not just gay shit lol.

You just need confidence matt and you can do anything.

[FREESTYLEMX17]

yer dude just find a chick get friends with her and just go on from there catch up a lot talk alot just do hell shit with her and it will work out :D .. how old r u

[redbull_fmx]

im 16 man.

When i lived in ipswich i was friends with so many chicks. But since i moved to this shit hole chicks are different here and dont wanna be friends with guys they just want to root the hot ones.

[FREESTYLEMX17]

arrrgghh tricky hmmm dont really woz dude u got ages a head of ya to get a chick but just try to get to know some of the girls and sh*t... a lot will come outta that i think

[redbull_fmx]

im moving back to ipswich soon anyway so it dosnt matter

[FREESTYLEMX17]

well easy fixed

[enslow]

16 ay mate... jeeez..

ya should be out riding, rooting and drinking on the weekends...

plan it out mate, friday hit the grog with ya mates, and go out and do the bloke thing, and doing stupid shit, without the sheila's...

then saturday night, plan it out. get some chicks around, have a few beers, (or few dozen). work ya magic as ya always do when 3 parts cut, spend the night with her. doesnt matter if its ipswitch or out there mate, she'll look tops after a night on the turps, then stumble outa bed on sunday morning with the bucket. get ya gear on an get out there and ride mate..

well thats good old tommo's tips anyway mate....HAHAHAHA

cheers>>>TOMMO

[Brewer]

lol well try and root some half decent ones.
Put some product in your hair and they will be loving in man.

[redbull_fmx]

Originally posted by enslow
16 ay mate... jeeez..

ya should be out riding, rooting and drinking on the weekends...

plan it out mate, friday hit the grog with ya mates, and go out and do the bloke thing, and doing stupid shit, without the sheila's...

then saturday night, plan it out. get some chicks around, have a few beers, (or few dozen). work ya magic as ya always do when 3 parts cut, spend the night with her. doesnt matter if its ipswitch or out there mate, she'll look tops after a night on the turps, then stumble outa bed on sunday morning with the bucket. get ya gear on an get out there and ride mate..

well thats good old tommo's tips anyway mate....HAHAHAHA

cheers>>>TOMMO

Best advice ive ever been given. might try that

[The Snitz]

And also on Sunday morning when you wake up, make sure you're not at her parents place, and her dad is standing next to her bedroom door about to kick your arse ;)

[FREESTYLEMX17]

and make sure he doesnt have a shotgun

[redbull_fmx]

Originally posted by The Snitz
And also on Sunday morning when you wake up, make sure you're not at her parents place, and her dad is standing next to her bedroom door about to kick your arse ;)

Reminds me of last weekend.......Well sort of.

Theres this hot chick at a party i nearly had in the bag. Her dad is a teacher at school (well i dont go to school but yer) and he told this fella who was going out with her a while go that he was going to kill him if anything happened. Back to the story. I nearly had her and someone was doing a pub run and i despretly needed more beer so i went to the pub and when i got back (20mins) she was with some other bloke. lol

[enslow]

nah steve its all good mate, as ya walk out of the room with her old man there...

ya say, "she was great" and hand him the bucket...HAHAHAHA

yes, I think me and steve might start up a clinic to help out unfortunant ppl like yourselves....HAHAHA...

with steve university brains, and my ahhhhhhhhh. *scratches head*..ahhhhhhh... well me just being there... it could work...HAHA


Cheers fellers>>>TOMMO

[FREESTYLEMX17]

hey man ur forget me here the brains behind all of this

[enslow]

so mate, ya think that the chick are gonna be any better in ipswitch....HAHAHA

cheers>>TOMMO

[redbull_fmx]

nah thats why i will go to brisbane lol, its just theres more in quainty down there lol

[Rosie125]

ok steve, since ur now "DR LURVE" u might wanna help me out here, coming from a chick (duno if any others have posted in here yet lol) i do have a slight problem with the male species:
a guy went into rehab to come off all the "BAD" habits he had so he could be a good father for his kid, anywho, there i was thinking all was saweeet and that we could finally try to get on with our lives as NORMAL people for once, last weekend i found out he had done it behind my back and his reason for doing it was "im gonna see the doors and im having a mufti day" well anywho, cos things were looking quite grim and his interest in 'US' had dropped from hero to zero i called him back with the sneaking suspicion he was seeing someone else (his whole attitude changed and thats another reason i knew he was back on the stuff) anyways, i asked him and he just said " for fu*k sake rosie..." then hung up, i havent heard from him cos hes now ignoring me cos all he cares about is his stupid drugs, so here i am - feeling like shit and so is this kid growing inside. yes i do feel for him,very very much but like is there any way i can let him see what hes doing to us without mudering him? (dunno y they made it illegal to kill ***kers like him- id just be doing the world a favour!) ahhhh, help me out steveO... what am i not seeing? ive been so patient and understanding and ive bit my tounge so many times...

[GStylEr]

This thread is cool... Steve does have good advice. My advice, don't go soft on a girl, cause they get all upset and think it's cause of them, which is usually right. So umm yeah that's really not so helpful hey, meh. Just be good friends with em then jump into their bed one night, she'll probly freak a little, then ease up and you can hug and progress from there... Just gotta know how to play the cards right.;)

Steve I have a question... How come when I'm with a girl, she gets off at least 2 or 3 times and I only get 1?? Is it just me or does that not seem fair? HAHAHA.

[Robbo66]

I think she is faking it Grant. If not, you must be a machine.

Now, I have a question. Why do I wake up with.. umm.. lets just call it morning glory... Well.. why do I?

[FREESTYLEMX17]

Well its a thing this called a wet dream where actual little tadpoles end up in your pants dont worry a lot of us get it but yer its all good. Trillions of them like u so much they think they will stay with u. good luck with that dude

[Rosie125]

sorry, i dun get those tadpoles in my undies thing, but its funny when u go camping with ur mates and they look like theve pitched a tent in their p.j's!!!

i thought morning glory was pitching a tent or what sum girls mite call 'cheese-dik' lol
oh well, a hah hah grant, u should write a book!!! :D

[FREESTYLEMX17]

hey either way its quite funny :D haha

[Lee_250f]

Morning glory ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

LMAO I saw this pic somewhere of a guy that stayed overnight at the track at a race. He was jstu lying on the ground on a blanket in his jocks only and his tent was pitched! He was lying in the middle of crowded pits. It looked so fkn hillarious.

[~Drunken_Angel~]

mista steeeeve... mista steeeve... *puts hand up*
where do babies come from??
*looks all innocent*

[The Snitz]

LOL I haven't looked at this thread since the night it started... where do I start? haha...

Grant, Yes... it IS unfair that she gets off three times to the one of yours... the 3 times means thats just how much more effort she'll be putting in to cooking your meals and washing your work clothes to make it extra soft and ironed perfect.

No, Wait... She'll make it her mission, to make you quit your job, and she will go and work 60 hour weeks to support you and your riding... so that 3 times she comes every time... is worth it Hahaha.

Rosie... hmm.. yours is an actual problem, and I'm not sure I could give the correct answer to that, possibly ... there is NO correct answer... I say anyone that cheats doesn't deserve a second chance.. would you want to raise your child with a guy who has cheated on you? I know I wouldn't. Kick his ass to the Kerb sister! :)

Callum, you're morning glory is caused cos your right hand is too sore, but you're still dreaming about that $1 Peep Show last night..

And Lay, from what I hear, though never tested, Babies are actually embedded in every 500th beer bottle. You can drink most of the time without any reprocussions.. but one time you'll drink one of these Beer's and then 9 months later, you have a fully developed baby.

I hope I have helped you all with these problems, as we're all in it for the love aren't we?

lol

[I_Bleed_blue]

steve thats robbo not callum...but i guess it would apply for him too lol

[pro_bro 89]

i thought that morinin glroy was just wen u wake wit a bone not wet pants. can u help that stuff cuz i hate it wakin up with another obstacle to climb over. lol

[The Snitz]

haha Damn, Robbo and Callum look the same now, with this Hippy Greenpeace avatar crap lol

[1madgerman]

Uncle steve i have this friend and i think he is gay, im not sure tho he used to ride a YZ250 so i thought i must be wrong maybe he is normal but then he went and bought a CR250. What is your opinion of this guy? is he gay?

[The Snitz]

I've seen this many times before Lars, and there's no dancing around the subject... YZ to CR... does mean you are actually homosexual. It is a proven law of nature. I think your friend needs to cut his losses, as I bet he has found more problems than he can poke a stick at, and go back to the Blue

[I_Bleed_blue]

i dont think he is gay...just retarded. haha. but it could quite possibly be a homosexual act. if so i think he should come out of the closet.

or it could be an std...a different type......subliminaly transmited disease. symptoms of this are : red green yellow or orange bikes. the only known cure is a slap on the face for corection

i have a PHD...





a pretty hard di....dont worry

[redbull_fmx]

To stop morning glory, where a condom to bed and when you wake up you will be mess free

[1madgerman]

Ey red bull a "morning glory" is not a "wet dream" one is caused by the need to piss, and the other is when you a teen and you have an "exciting" dream and you blow your load cause you imagined a set of tits or something of the like.

[ALLEN]

hahaha Lars...

[redbull_fmx]

ahha thats thats me rooted. Ya learn something new every day

[The Snitz]

LOL... I think the Education Departments need to sprucen their act up on what they're teaching lol!

[enslow]

HAHAHAHAHA,

this thread is still going...


steve the love doctor..hahaha... what a joke...lol..jk bud...

guess we'll have to ask rach how good ya really are at this subject mate...haha..

cheers fellers>>>TOMMO

[enslow]

ay steve,

tried calling ya last night mate...

ya phone was out of service or some sh*t...

had a good yarn to adam for a while... how come ya not out at blackduck mate??

cheers bud>>TOMMO

[Lee_250f]

LMAO at this fkn thread. Tops.

[FREESTYLEMX17]

omg this thread is gettin funny
but good help is also here

[~Drunken_Angel~]

Originally posted by The Snitz

And Lay, from what I hear, though never tested, Babies are actually embedded in every 500th beer bottle. You can drink most of the time without any reprocussions.. but one time you'll drink one of these Beer's and then 9 months later, you have a fully developed baby.

Really!!! :eek: I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!
well.. I came in a Bundy..

but.. another question..
how did they get the babies into the bottles??
hang on.. do i want to know??

[FREESTYLEMX17]

well it all start with a man...

[mulishatrooper]

dont go ther visions of a bloke working in a brewry getting his rocks off in every 500th bottle of beer noooo!

[Rosie125]

ewww, thats probably what the head of every beer is made of, ohhhh u kno what i just thought of.......... AMERICAN PIE where stiffler takes a gulp of that beer in the bedroom... yeh- well thats where babys come from lol, i think ive drunk too many beers which is probly why i am where i am now lol! :D
well as 4 my problem (cos i havent been in here for quite a while) ive kicked his sorry butt to the kerb as steve has advised me and now the pricks decided to move next door to me (our parents live next door to each other) -yes yes, very jerry springer boy/girl nex door senario lol.
anywho, big steve man, ive got another problemo - well, i was wondering if there would be any chance of cross breeding a rat with a rotti? or an onion with an apple so that they look like apples and really taste like onions. oh, BTW, is it normal to puke every time you see a hot guy or your crush? (yep, stan style in southpark) cos im kinda having big problems with that at the mo...

[5th pinned]

Originally posted by 1madgerman
Uncle steve i have this friend and i think he is gay, im not sure tho he used to ride a YZ250 so i thought i must be wrong maybe he is normal but then he went and bought a CR250. What is your opinion of this guy? is he gay?

LOL lars your a fag... Na your "friend" sounds pretty cool... I dont think hes gay... I think he made a very smart choice...
Adam...

[FREESTYLEMX17]

I think he might have a little liking male tendacies there as he rides a honda hahaha no joke honda r cool

[The Snitz]

Hey adam how is your friends bike going heard it gone through......how many 12 plugs in 10 hours, damn i hate to be him!
lars

[5th pinned]

hahahha yeah hes going good now lars... it went through 9 plugs in 12 hours... but he said its been going ok since u played with it... but yeah its going good now... Thanks for askin...
Adam...