Duncan
27th November 2004, 07:34 PM
Hope these makes yas laugh
#1
A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of this house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two are awful cute. Who are you supposed to be?"
"We're Jack and Jill" the girl replied.
The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill, you're black!"
They go off and a while later they come back dressed differently.
They ring the door bell and once again and the man opens the door.
"Well now, Who are you this time?"
"We're Hansel and Gretel" says the little boy.
"Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and
Gretel because you're black!" says the man.
Heads hung low, the kids leave. Not too much later the man hears the bell ring again. This time when he opens the door there stand the two children, but this time they are
STARK NAKED.
"Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now?!" he asks.
"Chocolate M & M's," said the little girl. "I'm plain. He's got nuts."
#2
A young man called John Ward invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how
handsome John's flatmate was. She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over
the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started
to wonder if there was more between John and his flatmate than met the
eye.
Reading his Mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Joe and I are just flatmates."
About a week later, Joe came to John saying, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Well, I doubt it, but
I'll email her just to be sure", said John.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle, but the fact remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, John.
Several days later John received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Joe, and I'm not saying that you
'do not' sleep with Joe, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in
his own bed he would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mum.
Lesson of the day: Don't Ever Lie to Your Mother.
#1
A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of this house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two are awful cute. Who are you supposed to be?"
"We're Jack and Jill" the girl replied.
The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill, you're black!"
They go off and a while later they come back dressed differently.
They ring the door bell and once again and the man opens the door.
"Well now, Who are you this time?"
"We're Hansel and Gretel" says the little boy.
"Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and
Gretel because you're black!" says the man.
Heads hung low, the kids leave. Not too much later the man hears the bell ring again. This time when he opens the door there stand the two children, but this time they are
STARK NAKED.
"Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now?!" he asks.
"Chocolate M & M's," said the little girl. "I'm plain. He's got nuts."
#2
A young man called John Ward invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how
handsome John's flatmate was. She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over
the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started
to wonder if there was more between John and his flatmate than met the
eye.
Reading his Mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Joe and I are just flatmates."
About a week later, Joe came to John saying, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Well, I doubt it, but
I'll email her just to be sure", said John.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle, but the fact remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, John.
Several days later John received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Joe, and I'm not saying that you
'do not' sleep with Joe, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in
his own bed he would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mum.
Lesson of the day: Don't Ever Lie to Your Mother.