View Full Version : Ya Mum jokes

3rd November 2003, 12:38 PM
Hey everyone post your best "Ya Mum" jokes. Here are just a few.

"ya mum so fat that when she had surgery she bleed gravey" LOL
"ya mum so dumb that she sits on the T.V and watches the couch"
"ya mum is so fat she tried to get a full body tan but the sun burnt out!!!"
"ya mum so fat she took her clothes to the dry cleaners
and they said sorry we dont take kertains"
"Yo momma so fat she stepped off a curb, a bus hit her she turned around and said " Stop pushing!"
"Yo momma so fat she stepped of the curb I swerved my car around her and ran out of gas"
"Yo momma so fat she uses the driveway as an ironing board"
"Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shootout"
"Yo Momma so fat, not even God can lift her spirits"

3rd November 2003, 12:43 PM
yo mommas so fat on her I.D. it says 'picture continued other side'
yo mommas so fat that when she wears the X-Files t-shirt, helicopters try to land on her

3rd November 2003, 03:46 PM
"yo mommas so fat when she swims with the whales, they all say "we are family"

3rd November 2003, 04:17 PM
funny shit. keep them comin

3rd November 2003, 07:07 PM
ya mumas so fat she had to get baptised at sea world
ya mummas so dumb she stole a free loaf of bread

3rd November 2003, 08:50 PM
ya'll Mum so dumb, she tried to dround a fish

4th November 2003, 01:49 PM
"Ya mum so dumb thats she climb over a glass wall to see what was on the other side"
"Ya mum so dumb that she traved to deth when she got loked up in a SAFEWAY"

4th November 2003, 02:27 PM
Arr Dont U guys love ya Mum ..??? lol .. thats Nasty .. :D

4th November 2003, 02:33 PM
Yeh i love my mum but the jokes are paying out other peoples mum's.

4th November 2003, 02:53 PM
I wished I was 15 again ... :D .. hahahah !!

21st November 2003, 04:50 PM
Ya mummas so fat that after we had sex i rolled over twice and was still on the *****.......

18th May 2004, 10:25 PM
ya mum is so fat when they filmed gorillas in the mist they filmed her in the shower

ya mum so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone

ya mum so dumb she got hit by a parked car

ya mum so fat she plays pool with the planets

ya mum so fat shes got more rolls than a bakery shop

18th May 2004, 10:43 PM
ya mum's so fat she's got more chins than a chinese phone book.

Ya mums so fat she tries cake mixture and eats the lot!

18th May 2004, 10:44 PM
arrr good old YA mum jokes i havent heared them in awhile!!!!

24th May 2004, 08:45 PM
ya mums so fat her family photos were taken by satelite.

ya mums so fat when she had her yellow rain coat on people called "taxi".

ya mums so ugly that when she was a kid you had to tie a steak to her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

your mums so fat instead of a bottle she got fed by a water tanker filled with milk as a baby.

24th May 2004, 09:28 PM
ay controvery can ya post up those pics of your atavar the first mulisha dudes thanks man!!

24th May 2004, 10:12 PM
heres one

Ya mums so hot i had sex with her!!

haah that joke sucks

24th May 2004, 11:22 PM
I'll quote butterfingers "Ya mumma's on the top of my to do list"

24th May 2004, 11:25 PM
Yo mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out


28th May 2004, 10:11 PM
no offence ppl but these jokes suck!!!

30th May 2004, 12:31 AM
yeah i reakon there lame!!!!!!

3rd June 2004, 04:08 PM
rofpmsl lol i love yo mumma jokes.

8th August 2004, 10:32 PM
ya mumma is so fat shes on both sides of the family

ya mum is soo stupid it took her a hour an a half to watch sixty minutes

8th August 2004, 10:42 PM
uumm yes here is one
tell your mum i left the money on the frige!!!!

8th August 2004, 10:58 PM
if your allowed in ya mums room can ya wake me up!!LOL

8th August 2004, 11:05 PM
can u get me jacket off your mums bed i left it there last night!!lol

9th August 2004, 06:27 PM
your mums so fat after sex i rolled over twice and i was still on her
Your mums so fat when she sits around the house she sits around the house

9th August 2004, 06:32 PM
good one dawg thats funny

9th August 2004, 06:35 PM
tell ya mum i mosewell of rooted a hoola hoop!!

9th August 2004, 07:07 PM
yer kool gumby kool

9th August 2004, 07:32 PM
your mums so fat she walked past the tv n i missed 13 shows

9th August 2004, 08:03 PM
your mommas so fat her belt size is "equator"
your mommas so fat she went to the beach and greenpeace turned up to save the whale?

luke ureks hot
9th August 2004, 08:45 PM
hahaha i luv em

9th August 2004, 09:15 PM
ur mommas so old that her birth certificate says expired

ur momass so old she sat behind jesus in the third grade

9th August 2004, 09:22 PM
ya mum so fat she took a spoon to the super bowl

10th August 2004, 02:47 AM
Yo mama so fat, when I was rooting her, I burnt my arse on the light bulb.

Yo mama so hairy, when she lifts her arm, it looks like she has Guy Sebastion in a head lock.

Yo mama so dumb, she got locked in Woolworths and died of starvation.

Yo mama so ugly, the only difference between her and a Rottwieler is lipstick,

Yo mama is so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a get away rope.

Yo mama is so stupid, she invented a condom with sweat holes.

Yo mama is like a postage stamp - you lick, you stick, you send her away.

Yo mama so ghetto, her wedding cake was made out of cornbread.

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.

Yo mama is so dirty she has to creep up on the bathwater.

Yo mama's so big, fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Wal-Mart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.

Your mama cooks so bad, your family prays after they eat!

That's enough for now!:D

16th August 2004, 10:04 PM
ya mum is like a hardware store, 20 cents a screw

ya mum is so fat she uses a matress as a tampon

5th September 2004, 10:46 AM
your momas so small she comited suicide off of a gutter!

5th September 2004, 10:49 AM
ya mums so dumb she got locked in fourty winks and slept on the floor

5th September 2004, 12:42 PM
M@d_dEeGaN_FaN i dont get it..........."scrathes head wondering?"

5th September 2004, 06:04 PM
Think harder Belinda.....Answer this simple question and the whole joke will take on a new meaning....."What Does "Fourty Winks" Sell?".....and no you cant phone a friend or ask the audience.

5th September 2004, 06:16 PM
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh they sell bedz :P
and dont call me belinda I H8 IT cuz it sounds like im in trouble... and im not...well wat i kno of

The General
5th September 2004, 06:28 PM
your mumma so hairy that you got carpet burn when born

21st September 2004, 08:44 PM
hahahaha they are funny

22nd September 2004, 09:11 AM
they are awesome ya mum jokes out there!!! does any one have anymore god ya mum jokes coz there funny. hey mungo man do u have any good ya mum jokes?????

22nd September 2004, 02:04 PM
Na, not off hand chief, most of the regular ones have allready been said.

22nd September 2004, 11:23 PM
I bloody well hope you's aint talkin about my mumma, I'll give ya a bloody chronic what for? LOL, seriously though, yo mumma is a part "O" you mang, a mumma is like a brada, you shouldn't slag on them essay, treat em with respect, afterall they wiped your ass when you were a rug rat, and thats one ******** job, so show some respect lol.

28th September 2004, 11:02 PM
ya mum is so hairy that they filed her in the shower when they filmed gorillas in the mist
ya mum so fat 2 get on her good side u have to catch a plane,bus and a ferry
ya mum so dumb she got hit but a parked car
ya mum so dumb she triped over the cord on a cordless phone
ya mum so fat she plays hide and seek behind the hymilayers

28th September 2004, 11:11 PM
lol... funny barsteds

12th October 2007, 12:03 PM
ya mum is so fat, when she jumped up she got stuck

12th October 2007, 12:03 PM
hey i ran 2 km...aka half a lap around ya mum

13th October 2007, 11:26 PM
ya mum is so fat, when she jumped up she got stuck
i dont get it.. wot did she get stuck in...

anxiety racing
15th October 2007, 09:50 PM
anyone heard the song by butterfingers yo mama?? go have a listen its funny... it's on there myspace for u myspace people

25th November 2007, 08:11 AM
your mums so old her birth certificate expired

27th November 2007, 09:30 PM
ya mum is the answer to any question posed to you by a complete **** knuckle...

27th November 2007, 10:54 PM
ya mum is so dumb she tried to throw a bird over a cliff

1st December 2007, 07:54 PM
ya mamas so fat, that wen she went to the airport she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack. LOL

28th January 2008, 09:28 PM
ya mums so dumb she failed a survey :]

28th January 2008, 10:34 PM
Ya mumma's soo fat she wears a watch on each arm cause she stands in two different time zones
Ya mumma's soo fat she sells shade in the summer
Ya mumma's soo fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang

28th January 2008, 11:21 PM
ya mum's so fat her legs are like spoilt milk ... white and chunky

1st February 2008, 04:20 PM
wat did yo mammas left leg say to her right... Nuthing they never met
why does yo mamma wear hoop earing... A place to rest her ankles
yo mammas so dumb she got locked inside her car
what do u call it when yo mamma has pigtails... a BJ with handle bars
yo mamma is like the village bicycle... everybody gets a ride.
yo mammas so poor i went to her house and stepped on a lit cigarette and she said "hey who turned off the heater"

5th March 2008, 03:22 PM
yo mummas so fat the only time she sees 90210 (an american tv show) is on the scales!

4th May 2008, 03:33 PM
yo momas so dumb she took a ruler to bed to c how long she slept..
yo momas so dumb she was told drinks were on the house so she climbed on the roof...
yo momas so fat she fell down the grand canyon and got stuck...

28th November 2008, 10:04 AM
:xmas5::turd::suspiciou:suspiciouyour mums so fat that when she jumped of a cliff she got stuck HAHAHAHAHA !!!:dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::axe: :shades::s::fear::teleph2::dance:;doh;:lol::burnou t::axe::hippy::08ban::hello:

28th November 2008, 02:36 PM
ya mum is so dumb she tried to throw a bird over a cliff

your so dumb you left half that joke out and made yourself look like an ass hahahahaha

i think what you meant to say is your mum is so dumb she tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff .

lololololololol jackass

29th November 2008, 08:31 PM
got this off epic movie....your mumma is so hairy the only language she speaks is wookie!

9th December 2008, 03:46 PM
Yea well i have got a tattoo on my ass that says
" i ***d ya mum!"
no lie!

9th December 2008, 05:36 PM
Yea well i have got a tattoo on my ass that says
" i ***d ya mum!"
no lie!

heaps funny. lol thats kool

2nd March 2009, 04:45 AM
ya momma's so fat she lies on top of 5 hummas to get to work.

2nd March 2009, 08:55 PM
haha these r all heaps good!

2nd March 2009, 09:35 PM
i not sure if these are on here yet but anyway
ur mummas so poor, i saw her kicking a can down the street and i asked wat she was doing n she said in moving.....

ur mummas so poor, i saw her walkin her dog down the street and asked her wat she was doing n she said im going to a bring your own food party lol

4th March 2009, 03:40 PM
yo momma is ugly she cant even keep a d1ld0 hard

9th March 2009, 06:33 PM
Yo mommas teeth so yellow when she closes her mouth, her stomach glows.
Yo mommas so fat her clothing size isnt xl, xxl or xxxl its yo MOMMA!

9th March 2009, 06:35 PM
Yo momma so fat when she jumped for joy she got stuck.

11th March 2009, 12:44 PM
ya mumma so fat i slapped her on the arse an road the wave in
ya mumma so ugly even hells angles wouldn't sleep with her
ya mumma so fat she shits in a mine truck

16th April 2009, 10:30 AM
your mum is so stupid, she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order

your mum is so fat and stupid, she only knows three letters of the alphabet. . . K, F and C

your mum is so smelly, she gets shot at with Lynx bullets

13th June 2009, 11:38 PM
your mumma's so fat when i tried to have sex with her it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

16th June 2009, 07:28 PM
yo mummas so fat she can't even fit in this joke! :dance:

Fat Rat #008
16th June 2009, 08:10 PM
your mumma don't like me because i'm no good at BUSH bashing!

26th June 2009, 06:27 AM
yer mum is so stupid she fell off a building and asked for directions to the bottom :)

22nd July 2009, 11:59 PM
yo mummas so fat that she fills up the bath tub and then puts the water in it.
yo mummas so fat that when she was at school she sat next to everyone.

24th July 2009, 04:57 PM
haha all gud jokes...

yo mummas soo fat she got more chins than a chinese phonebook

yo mummas soo fat she got more rolls than a bakery

yo mummas soo stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund

7th August 2009, 01:19 PM
Ya Mums so dumb that when she forgot her husbands phone number she called him and asked for it!!:burnout:

7th August 2009, 02:36 PM
no offence ppl but these jokes suck!!!

Not as much as your mum.

16th November 2009, 10:51 AM
ya mums so fat, when she dances the band skips
ya mums so ugly, she made an onion cry
ya mums so old, she owes jesus $3
ya mums so fat, even dora couldn't explore her
ya mums so hairy, when you were born you got a carpet burn
ya mums so fat, she had to get baptised at sea world
ya mums so stupid, she thought she made a ***** hard
ya mums so fat, her family photo's were taken by satelitte
ya mums so crossed-eyed, she through a rock at the ground and missed
ya mums so poor, she got thrown out of the homless shelter

16th November 2009, 10:53 AM
i like it, i like it alot lol;)

16th November 2009, 12:48 PM
Not as much as your mum.

haha instant classic

8th December 2009, 01:24 AM
Your mumma is so fat, when I stand on her stomach I can hi-five Jesus!

From Meet The Spartans:
Your mumma so ghetto when she breast feeds, Cool-Aid comes out!
Your mumma so fat, when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming!
Your mumma is so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie!